Manual Madness!
by BanaoElite
Summary: **Based on LolliDictator's manuals**  I honestly had no idea what I'd just ordered...until America is delivered to my front door in a crate and all hell breaks loose.
1. Prolouge

_A/N: Hello~ Sora here, or BanaoElite on FanFiction. I'm also gamakichisora on YouTube and deviantArt, so I'm new to all of this. Forgive me if some of the things I write sound odd; this is my first story, after all. ^^; This story is based on LolliDictator's manual fics, so go check those if you actually bother to read this. lD I based May on myself looks-wise, but that's where the similarities end. So think of her as a fictional character if you aren't already, and not as me. I had to change this so it wouldn't be too personal to put on the Internet. ^^;_

xX Chapter One Xx

"Hetalia units? What the crap?" I stared at my monitor in disbelief. Units, as in _robots?_ I glanced at the address bar.

Flyingmintbunny dot com. Huh.

Normally, I would close any pop-up that, well, _popped up _when I was reading Fanfiction. My poor, four year old laptop couldn't take any more stress and I honestly didn't want to spend any money on repairs. Four years of daily use had taken its toll on my Acer and I was sure it ran even slower than my clunker of a car, but I was too attached to it to get a replacement.

…Living alone did have its downsides. A three bedroom apartment could get lonely sometimes.

The website didn't _look_ that shady. The page design was unbearably cute; every aspect of it was adorned with England's imaginary(?) friend.

" Try out our new products for free and give us feedback. For a limited time, pay only ten dollars if you would like to keep your unit." I read aloud. I debated for a moment before giving in to temptation.

Feh. It was only ten dollars. What did I have to lose?

I filled out my shipping information and scrolled down the page, viewing my options. If they really were robots, this would be like _Absolute Boyfriend_ all over again. Ah, a girl could dream.

"Hmm….." I had my choice of Russia, America(oh!), China, Italy, Prussia, Switzerland and South Korea. And Canada. Ironically, I'd forgotten to mention him. I mused about which one I'd like. America? Well, I was one of his citizens, after all. China? Canada? I wouldn't dare to order South Korea. Even if I was half-Korean and could appreciate a few jars of kimchi, I wasn't willing to be groped. Russia scared the crap out of me, Prussia was too much of an earful, Italy couldn't fend for himself… And I'd never cared much for Switzerland.

I scrolled down the page, hoping for a Spain or Romano model and instead finding England.

Wait. You could order America _and _England? Being the rabid USUK fan I was, the thought was exciting. According to the website, you could order more than one trial unit. So I could get the one I liked better, America, first, and then buy England if I liked my first purchase.

I decided on America, confirmed my order and shut down my computer, flopping onto my mattress. I wasn't even sure what I had just ordered. Was it a figurine? Some kind of life-sized model? Holy crap, what if I'd just ordered something off of the human black market? I imagined receiving a cosplayer in a cardboard box and shoved the idea further back into my brain.

Aww, what the hell. Whatever was going to happen, it would be Hetalia related. Therefore making it good.

I turned off the lights and tucked myself underneath my Jack Skellington themed sheets before falling asleep.

_Please review and tell me if you spot any typos~ _

_Thank you, if you read this far! 3_

_-Sora_


	2. In Which the 'Hero' Arrives

_A/N: I've written thirteen chapters for this on paper. It's gonna be fun to type this all up. .; Well, here's chapter two for you! Enjoy~_

xX Chapter Two Xx

_DING DONG~_

I flinched, opening my dark brown eyes and groping around for my glasses: square and rimmed only on the bottom.

Maybe their similarity to America's had influenced my choice in buying them. But I digress.

The doorbell rang again, loud and persistent.

Who the hell would be ringing my doorbell and seven o' freakin' clock?

I rolled out of bed, cursing my life. The doorbell rang again. Damn, were they persistent.

"Hello?" I opened the door to find a delivery man gaping at me.

I then realized I hadn't had time to get dressed, so I wasn't wearing any pants. I was clad in a Death Note t-shirt a size too big that failed to cover up my underwear. My dark brown, nearly black hair was a mess, tangled all the way down to the tips at my waist. I also hadn't cleaned my apartment in a few days, and empty instant ramen containers, paper and manga were littered all over my floor. Not to mention the Jack stuffed animal I was still clutching underneath my arm.

…Shut up. I liked the Nightmare Before Christmas, okay?

Oh, and my glasses were on upside down. Lovely.

"Is this a bad time?" the delivery man asked, taking in me and all my morning glory. I was about to tell him to piss off for waking me up on a Saturday when I noticed the logo printed on his hat.

_Flying Mint Bunny Incorporated._ Oh my God.

"No, now's fine," I muttered. And then I saw the crate. It was taller than I was and made out of wood. I stared for a few minutes before realizing the delivery guy was talking to me, only hearing the last couple of words he had said.

"-sign here, please." He gave me a pen and a pad of paper. I nodded mutely before frowning at the first blank.

"Do I have to sign my first name, or can I use my middle one instead?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat, ma'am."

I filled out the rest of the blanks: ,my name(May), my age(eighteen), and my phone number before handing back the pad of paper.

"Where do you want this?" he asked, gesturing to the crate.

"Eermm…Just put it inside and I'll deal with it later." I shrugged.

"I would suggest 'dealing with it' now. Keeping your product waiting would not be recommended." The delivery man replied ominously. In shock, I let him carry the crate into my living room. From the size of the box, I wouldn't have been surprised if there _was_ a half-dead cosplayer inside. There was also a smaller crate which he set down next to it before handing me a small pack of papers. He then tipped his hat to me and wished me a good day. I was still in shock when I watched him walk down the hallway. As I turned around to go back inside, I heard him call out my name.

"Ms. May! I would seriously recommend reading the manual before you open the box if you value your life!" I ogled at his retreating figure and tried to make sense of his words.

And then he was gone, off to deliver more illegal(or what I believed to be so) products.

Leaving me to stare blankly at the manual he had placed in my hands. Cautiously, I read the first page. L-length? I re-read that line twice before moving on.

The more I read, the more convinced I was of this fact: there was some kind of android in the box. I felt a little reassured when I read "Removal of your ALFRED F. JONES from Packaging". Apparently, it was nearly impossible to tick whatever was in the box off.

I decided to open the second, smaller box first, for safety reasons. After cutting through the packing tape with a kitchen knife, I reached in and pulled out a bomber jacker and a pair of Superman boxers. I stared for a moment before gingerly placing them next to me on the carpet. I also found some pants and a pair of glasses not unlike my own.

Oh joy. Now the cosplayer I had ordered (illegally) off of the internet was half-starved _and_ naked.

I skimmed through the rest of the manual, perusing through the pages at whim. Until I heard a scuffling sound from the inside of the smaller crate. Assuming this was the TONY unit the manual had promised, and seeing as I had no urge to meet America's slimy little gray friend alone, I made a split second decision.

Abandoning all sanity and ignoring the sounds from inside of the smaller crate, I began to sing the American anthem.

"Oh, say can you see,"

No response.

"By the dawn's early light,"

I paused as I heard movement from the larger box. I started to sing again.

"What so proudly we hailed,"

A voice joined me at 'hailed'.

"BY THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING!"

Oh God. I prayed for whatever was in the box to stop singing. It was screaming out the lyrics know, horribly off tune and making the box shake.

Before I had a chance to gouge my ears out, I heard a large crack. Followed by another. The crate's wood was splitting. And then all hell broke loose as I tried to avoid being impaled by pieces of wood while whatever was in the box clawed its way out. The cracking subsided, and once I was sure it was safe, I opened my eyes.

I was staring face-to-face at Alfred F. Jones, the personification of America.

And from the way his stomach was growling, he was, without a doubt, starving.


	3. Dammit, Paranormal Activity

_A/N: I'm trying to make this story move fast. Hopefully you aren't bored already. -A-; _

_*sigh*_

_I apologize in advance for this chapter. A fangirl can dream, right? o/o Don't worry, all you USUK fangirls, Iggy's on his way! :D_

_...I just re-read "I Ordered Russia Online I Didn't Get Him". And needless to say, I feel guilty. The America-cuddlng scenes are almost identical, even though I read that story at least two months before writing that scene. So, I apologize if it seems like I copied, though it really wasn't intentional. ;w;_

xX Chapter Three Xx

"A-America?" I choked out.

"At your service! And you would be?" said nation flashed me a (dazzlingly bright) smile and a thumbs up.

I hated that I was blushing like a crushed out school girl in front of her crush right now. Hated it.

"M-may. Call me May." I replied.

"May? You don't look American!"

I was tempted to reply with "no shiz, Sherlock" but chose not to as he leaned closer, examining my face.

"You don't _look_ American either. Why are you singin' my anthem?"

That got underneath my already-flustered skin. "I'm only half-Korean, jerk-"

I was cut off by an angry rumbling**. **But…America's lips weren't moving at all. He looked almost as surprised as I was.

And _hungry. _The guy looked like he was starving.

"He-he…Sorry. Haven't eaten in a while. Y'know any good McDonald's around here?"

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. What the hell? I then accepted that what I'd ordered in the mail was human enough to be considered human.

"Um, yeah. There's a McDonald's down the street. Uh, just let me put some pants on and then we can go." I replied before bolting to my room to put on a pair of jeans.

xXx

I watched in awe as America(or Alfred, as he preferred) swallowed the last bite of his Big Mac. Bringing his grand total to eighteen burgers.

"How the hell do I pay for all this?" I hissed.

"Dude. Chillax. I got it covered, see?" the blonde replied, taking an unlimited McDonald's gift card out of his bomber jacket and waving it in my face.

Those Flying Mint Bunny people knew what they were doing.

"Hey, uh…Can I crash at your place for a while? I don't have anywhere else to stay; besides, you're the one who ordered me, right?" Alfred asked, looking slightly apologetic. Huh. So I was like his master now, right?

…I hated how kinky that sounded.

"You're not something I ordered off the internet. You're my housemate now." I said with an embarrassed smile before taking a bite out of my cheeseburger. A Happy Meal for breakfast. Joy. At least I got a Batman toy out of it. America was begging me for it, though I was still debating whether I should give it to him or not.

…So what if I was eighteen( and going on nineteen)? Doesn't mean I can't enjoy toys.

Two burgers later, America announced to the entire restaurant that he was full.

We hopped into my clunker and drove back home around noon.

xXx

I spent the better half of my day purging my apartment of anything toxic to make it safe for humans (and units) to inhabit. Not exactly what I'd planned to do during my winter break, but whatever.

Alfred spent this time watching Cartoon Network. I guess we both appreciated cartoons.

By the time I'd finished cleaning, it was already dark outside. America had started channel flipping nearly an hour ago, bored.

…I have no idea what possessed us to watch the horror movie channel. Either way, five minutes later we had opened a few bags of Korean snacks and were watching Paranormal Activity in my new, improved, _clean_ apartment.

I'm sure the neighbors could hear us through the walls for the next hour.

"A-Al. Calm down. I've already seen this movie. She doesn't kill him yet-Holy crap, did that door just open?"

"AAAHHHH! SOMETHING JUST MOVED, SOMETHING JUST FREAKIN' MOVED-"

"America, it was just the-"

"UWWAHHH! The light just turned on by itself!"

…Yeah.

When I crawled into bed that night, I was feeling less than confident about falling asleep. I prayed for a good five minutes before realizing the "growl" I was hearing was my dryer. It didn't help that the TONY unit the manual had promised, the one that had been moving earlier, had disappeared when I'd gotten home from McDonald's.

When I'd heard footsteps in the hallway slowly approaching my door, I'd expected some sort of demon or alien and braced myself for the worst.

I hadn't expected to see America, wearing his Superman boxers and clutching a Pikachu plushie I'd loaned him for the night in one hand. He was shaking and had little tears in his eyes.

It was pretty damn adorable.

"Can I sleep with you so the ghosts won't get me?" he whimpered. I gaped. My immediate response was to say no. If he had been a Spain unit, however, I couldn't have said "yes" fast enough-

I locked that fangirl thought into the back of my brain and reminded myself to cut down the amount of Spamano I read.

The bottom line was that America and I were both too scared to sleep.

"Fine," I sighed, scooting over to one side of the bed. He gave a happy little "yay!" and slid underneath the covers, Pikachu still attached. Alfred wrapped his arms around my waist, sending tingles up my spine. I cursed myself for being so much shorter than him when I felt his breath on my neck, his chest touching and arching around my back.

Holy versatility, Batman.

Were we **spooning?**

Thank God I was turned the other way; my blush would've been visible even in the dark.

"May?"

"What, Alfred?" It seemed appropriate to use his human name in this…er…_intimate_ situation. I was reminded yet again that he was wearing only Superman boxers on the bottom and an oversized t-shirt I'd given him on the top. Me? I was mentally punching myself for not wearing any pants to bed. Dammit.

"Can you turn around? It's less scary if I can see your face…" Alfred requested timidly.

I reluctantly complied, rolling over and winching when my noise came into contact with Texas.

"Geez…Retard, don't wear your glasses to bed," I muttered, taking them off of his face for him and placing them next to mine on the nightstand.

"Goodnight..." America yawned. He scooted down on his pillow and I felt his Nantucket ahoge tickle my nose. I tried not to inhale that little piece of hair, mentally reminding myself to start wearing pajama pants, instead of just underwear, to bed.

"…Goodnight, Alfred." I yawned and closed my eyes.

My last thought was the hope that I wouldn't have to eat McDonald's for breakfast tomorrow.


	4. Oresama Saves His Feathered Friend

_A/N: The story's finally moving a little faster~! _

_*does a happy little dance*_

_And the new Bottoms Up chapter comes out in three days! _

_*does another happy little dance* _

_I'm still getting used to writing all these nations/units , so I apologize in advance if they're out of character. ^^;_

xX Chapter Four Xx

I'd woken up that morning via alien. I'd heard footsteps in the hallway (not Alfred this time, he was too busy crushing me in his arms) and reached for my glasses. I'd accidently put on America's but apparently our vision was equally bad, so there was no need to take them off. I sat up in bed, the "hero's" arms sliding down to my waist. Still half asleep, I watched as Tony wandered in and placed one cold, _slimy_ gray hand on my doorframe.  
>That little bastard flipped me off before turned back and disappearing to wherever he came from. I shrugged, accepting that my life would never be back to normal again, and decided it was time to face another day.<br>If Alfred wanted a Big Mac for breakfast, he was going to have to get one himself. I was making myself an omelet over rice with kimchi on the side whether he liked it or not. And miso soup. Couldn't forget the miso soup.  
><em>Ding dong~<em>  
>I sighed as the doorbell rang and turned off the stove, my omelet still liquid. I glanced toward my room; America was sleeping like a log and apparently dead to any worldly sounds. I opened the door (thankfully wearing pants this time) and saw that familiar mint green logo. The delivery man said a polite hello before handing me a pad of paper and a pen.<br>"What're you doing here again? If you came to check on America, he's still asleep in my room-" And then I saw the box. The exact same size crate that my first unit had been delivered in.  
>"Why are you giving me another one?" I ground out, glaring daggers at him.<br>"I'll explain that after you pay for your other model. Since he spent the night in your bed, I assume you want to keep him?" Mr. Delivery-man said with a hint of amusement in his voice.  
>"He saw a scary movie, okay?" I muttered, feeling my face heat up. I fished a crumpled ten dollar bill out of my wallet and handed it to him before looking back at the box.<br>"Not sure who's in there, ma'am. I just deliver the products, so don't shoot the messenger." He answered the question in my head and looked slightly apologetic. I sighed.  
>"Do I have to pay for this one too?" I asked.<br>"No ma'am. You get the rest of the units free of charge! Our company's trying to receive customer feedback on our new Hetalia units, so please call us sometime." He explained.  
>"Wait. <em>Units?<em> As in, I'm receiving more? My apartment only has room for one more person, buddy." I hissed. He shrugged and fixed his hat.  
>"I'll talk it over with my boss, ma'am. I'm sure we can arrange new living conditions for our volunteers free of charge."<br>I bit back any retort I had (as he said before, I wasn't going to shoot the messenger) and silently let him carry the crate into my living room. He tipped his hat again to me before placing another manual in my hands.  
>And then he was gone again, out the door and down the elevator. That sneaky bastard.<br>I looked down at the manual in my hands and braced myself before reading the title.  
>'Gilbert Beillschimdt: User's Manual'.<br>Dammit.

xXX

Before I could have my imminent mental breakdown, however, America stumbled into the room looking like he'd just rolled out of bed. He probably had.  
>"Dude, Sora, can we go to McDonald's for breakfast? I'm really craving a Big Mac-" he broke off and stared at the crate with big eyes. "Woah. Who's in there?"<br>I tossed the manual in my grasp to him wordlessly. Upon reading the title, he met me calmly with with bright blue gaze. "So? It's just Prussia."  
>"JUST Prussia? It doesn't bother you at all that you're going to be sleeping with a German rapist next door?" I said, glaring at him through my glasses. He shrugged.<br>Before I could think of a sarcastic retort, something in the smaller crate started moving. Tapping against the wood, actually. I tore the manual out of America's hands to look at the smaller crate's contents.  
>First Tony, now Gilbird. My apartment was slowly filling up to the brim. Something was bound to burst eventually. Like me.<br>"Wait. If Gilbird's activated, then that means-" I had been reading the "Removal of Your Gilbert Beillschmidt From Packaging" section and had to flatten myself to the floor to avoid being impaled by wood. The unit in the box was busting out to save his feathered friend. I winced at the loud, arrogant voice that reached my ears.  
>"Gilbird! His Awesomeness is coming!" I shuddered as I heard more wood split and screwed my eyes shut before grabbing Alfred's hand.<p>

And then it stopped.  
>"Piyo. Piyo."<br>"Gil! You're alright!"  
>"Piyo, piyo."<br>"Wasn't my heroic-ness the awesomest or what?"  
>"Piyo."<br>"Aww, thanks Gil!" Prussia, now sure that Gilbird was safe, turned around and noticed us for the first time. I glanced down at the manual in my hands, remembering what it had warned me of to the point of obsession.  
>Rape, rape, rape. The entire manual mentioned rape.<br>"Hey." The German said, his crimson eyes flitting down to America's crotch. "Nice Superman boxers."  
>I was saving Alfred for England when he arrived; I was going to try and keep him out of anybody else's bed (and mine, dammit) until I had Arthur and had cameras at the ready.<br>I had failed miserably. Now Prussia was eying his vital regions while I was holding his hand after cuddling with him all night long. So much for keeping America unattached.  
>"Hey babe. You're kinda cute," the rapiststalker German said. His eyes had wandered to my chest.  
>Yes. He had DARED to go there.<br>He took a step towards me, his fingers flexing as his lips formed a creepy half smile.  
>"Nice rack. Wanna see my five meters?"<p>

At that moment, something in my brain snapped.


	5. The Yaoi Alliance is Formed!

_A/N: Oh wow, I've already gotten some reviews? ;w; You guys are amazing~ 3  
>I know this story may seem a little mainstream so far, but don't worry; it branches off and gets more interesting soon. I have a really awesome (oh God, I'm channeling Prussia oo) ending planned for this, though it may be a little sad... _

_I also have a huge announcement to make; I have changed all the previous chapters to make the main character's name May. She still looks the same, though she has a flower pin she always wears in her hair._

_I felt like I had to change it; this story was starting to get too personal to be on the internet. So the main character is now May. ^^;  
>Either way, enjoy chapter five~! :D<br>_

xX Chapter Five xX

Maybe kicking Prussia in the balls and storming off to my room hadn't been such a good idea. I was still a little worried about leaving him and America alone together, but Alfred was a world superpower, right? He could take care of himself for ten minutes while I called customer service.  
>Hell, it's not my fault if I get frumpy when I don't eat breakfast. Geez.<br>I locked the door to keep any German rapists out and pushed various number keys on my phone, eagerly awaiting speaking to a human being. My wish was granted one "5" key later.  
>"Hello? Flying Mint Bunny Incorporated here. My name is Sandra, and I'll be helping you today. What can I do for you?"<br>"Hello, Sandra. My name is May, and I received an America unit yesterday. I just received a Prussia unit and was wondering whether I can send that jerk back." I said, not even trying to hide the loathing in my voice.  
>"Did you interact with your unit?" she replied. The patience in her voice was really starting to tick me off.<br>I wondered how many times she'd gotten calls requesting to send back their Prussia units.  
>"Um, yes." I answered, hesitant.<br>"What did he say?"  
>"He asked if I wanted to see his 'five meters'."<br>A pause on the other end. Then a small sigh. "I'm sorry, miss May, but we cannot take back units that have been activated and interacted with unless they are forced back into their boxes. And seeing as this is a Prussia unit we're talking about, I don't see how that's possible. I'm very sorry." Sandra finished.  
>...Crap. I refrained from swearing into the mouthpiece.<br>"We can, however, take requests for which trial unit you would like to receive next." She said, sounding a little brighter. Oh. Well that wasn't that bad.  
>"Um...England, please?" I asked, feeling a little embarrassed. Sandra laughed a little and thanked me for calling before hanging up.<p>

Now to tackle the disaster I was sure to find in the living room. I paused in the hallway, feeling my worry grow.  
>What if I walked in to find Prussia without pants as he screwed America ruthlessly on the couch?<br>When I neared the living room, however, I was surprised to hear the sound of forks scraping against plates. I sighed, relieved. America wasn't being raped.  
>...Unless Prussia was banging him on the table.<br>Rape or no rape, I braced myself for the worst and stepped into the living room. I was greeted by the smell of...omelets? Puzzled, I looked in the direction of the kitchen.  
>America and Prussia were eating brunch. Prussia looked grumpy, which was no surprise; I would be too if someone had just shoved their foot into my vital regions. Alfred looked bored, though his face did light up when he saw me. He was about to say something when His Awesomeness whipped around in his chair.<br>"Bier! I want German bier!" he whined. I rolled my eyes and couldn't help but notice how he pronounced "beer" with a German accent.  
>"Ich bin acht-und-sehn jahre alt und unter jahre." I sighed. America gaped and Prussia gasped, staring at me with wide eyes.<br>"You...Du sprechst auf Deustch?" he stammered.  
>"I took it in school for seven years, so of course I can speak a little." I retorted. "We'll get your beer once England gets here so we don't have to break the law. You're one year underage and don't even have an I.D."<br>Alfred's eyes lit up at the sound of the Brit's name. I remembered what I'd read in the manual, about how these were the two most likely to get together, and smiled (deviously).  
>"Is Artie coming here too?" he asked.<br>"Yes, probably sometime in the next couple of days."  
>"Yay~!" the American cheered.<br>Now for the last step of Operation USUK.  
>"Alfred, I don't want to force England to sleep on the couch. Do you mind sharing a room with him? I have an extra mattress we can move in there." I asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. America fell for it hook, line, and sinker.<p>

"Sure! It'll be fun!" he agreed and I grinned.

Good. Now all I needed were cameras set up in their room to record any action. Just like a live doujinshi…I tried not to drool.

xXx

My mind was still spinning from the day's events when I went to bed that night. _Two units in two days…_ I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little uneasy about this whole thing. I could hear the familiar sound of Pokemon battle music from next door; I had loaned America my DS for the night. My room was the one in the middle, in between the two unit's bedrooms. I tried to ignore the "kesesesese"s coming from Prussia's room and prayed that he wouldn't rape me overnight. The thought made me nervous, and as I heard America yell, "Hell yes! Take that, Lugia! Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!" and "Dammit Team Rocket, you can't KO the hero!" I realized there was no way in hell sleep was going to come easy tonight. As Alfred complained loudly about his lack of Super Potions I booted up my computer to read some FanFiction. Tonight was a PruCan kind of night.

I was so wrapped up in the story I was reading that I failed to hear the footsteps in the hallway and the sound of my doorknob turning. I flinched when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to find Prussia staring at me before reading the text on the screen again.

Oops. Bad time to read smut.

"I-I,y-you, how did you-" I stammered every word, unable to form a proper sentence in my shock. Years of yaoi fandom enabled a normal fangril such as myself to click the "x" in the corner of the screen at lightning speed.

Prussia stared at me for a moment, narrowing his eyes at me before sighing.

Sighing? What the hell?

"I won't lie; I wouldn't mind me a piece of Canadian ass occasionally." He muttered. I gaped while he smiled a rapist-esque smile at me and continued. "But the Awesome me would totally pound whoever was beneath me into the mattress with my five meters _before_ using my tongue to-"

"T-that's enough." I said, plugging my (virgin) ears. Hearing Prussia critique smut about _himself_ was something I wasn't ready to hear. "I guess you understand why I ordered England now, huh?" I laughed nervously. Prussia paused for a moment before continuing.

"Honestly, I'm kinda interested in whatever the hell those two are gonna do. Not like that English bastard could ever beat my five meters!" he added before laughing his trademark "kesesese".

An idea occurred to me then. I was pretty sure it wouldn't work, but a girl could try, couldn't she?

"Would the awesome you be interested in helping me, then?" I asked, adjusting my glasses.

"With what?" he asked, slightly hesitant from my new tone of voice. I could tell he was interested though; his crimson eyes were focused on me.

"I need to set up cameras in Alfred's room to catch anything the two of them do. Care to join me?" I proposed. Prussia laughed, looking slightly nervous, before grinning at me.

"You're a devious bitch behind those glasses, aren't you? Fine, I'll help you." He agreed.

Thus, the Prussia-May Yaoi Alliance was formed. Sealed over a bowl of ice-cream.

"The next step is to go buy the cameras,"I began to explain my (not-so-brilliant) plan to him while Alfred yelled at the DS, oblivious to our devious planning.

My only hope was that my vital region would still be intact by the end of this alliance.


End file.
